


No Point Dwelling

by The_Lamp



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, Gen, Unrequited Love, non-binary Hange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 14:57:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3654621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Lamp/pseuds/The_Lamp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa Ackerman's parents set her up for a play date with one of their friend's daughter, turns out watching a movie with Scarlet Johansson in it is the best thing to ever happen to Mikasa Ackerman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Point Dwelling

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god that summary sucked, I might change it later, I don't know, I guess we'll see.

“You want to set me up with your friend’s daughter? Mom, Dad, I know you understand perfectly well what sex I prefer but this is going to the extremes! You’re supposed to be like ‘honey your 15 you’re just confused’! Not the other way around,” my parent’s just smile at me across the table like everything is okay, it’s kind of irking me for how oblivious they are of how the world works. I sigh, at least they’re accepting.

            Mother just rubs the back of my hand, “Please understand, honey, we’re doing this for your own good.” I could feel my eye twitch, is this how actual parents are? “Your father and me are very good friends with her parents, you don’t even have to like each other; just tolerate her!” she pleaded with me.

            I sigh, I can’t say no now the deed is done, it’ll happen whether I like it or not, just go a long with it Mika. It won’t be fair to them if I don’t try and befriend this chick. I look away from their hopeful expressions, “Fine, but don’t blame it on me if she ends up with a black eye and a busted lip.”

 

            Skipping to next week and that’s where I am with this super attractive person right next to me eating popcorn when we’re watching _The Avengers_. I stand corrected, maybe I can like her.

            I look back at the screen when I hear her voice, “Why can’t there be more Scarlet Johansson screen shots, there needs to be more of her, you know? She’s so freaking hot it’s like, c’mon! Leave some good looks for the rest of us! Ugh, so unfair.” I stifle a laugh.

            “Right? Like, I know you’re just a person, but stop, just stop, you’re not a person, you’re a goddess with those looks. Stop.”

            That is how we end up talking about Scarlet and the rest of the avengers all night. Popcorn askew everywhere and our feet in each other’s faces. Mom is going to be so mad.

 

            From what I gather, she is completely heterosexual. It’s kind of painful because from the amount of time we hang out now parallels to at least three times a week. We’ve been pretty close to a month now and I may or may not have developed a crush on that pretty lady that mom has set me up with. Thanks mom, your plan backfired, she’s not even bisexual, total heterosexual.

            How I know that? From the amount of time she talks about guys and gossips like one of those desperate housewives in those white suburban neighborhoods. It kind of hurts but I don’t let it get me down. No way Jose!

 

* * *

 

            It hurts a lot actually, and when I say a lot, I’m underestimating that word. From the time I met till now, a couple months later, I can now say that my feelings for her has tripled. From her perfect ponytail and her thin lips, to her brown hair and never ending love for food. Her voice when she talks about meaningless things at three o’clock in the morning, to her bed head when she wakes up twelve hours later on a Saturday afternoon. To her dress that she wears for Hockey meetings, and then her perfect nails to the bitten parts on her index and her pinky finger. The weird laugh she does when we’re watching a movie or I make some weird comment about bowl movements, it’s all beautiful. When she runs to me when she breaks up with her boyfriend for the bajillionth time and when she rebounds and goes back to him. Those rights, and those wrongs, she may not be perfect, but I love her the way she is. I just wish she can see that.

 

            Feelings like these aren’t normal for your best friend, they’re sick. I wish I can change, I wish my feelings weren’t like this, I wish my feelings weren’t unrequited, but they are, and I have to live with that. It’s painful, but that’s life. I have to go through with it, otherwise I’m weak.

            18 years old now and going to be a personal coach at a gym, I’m strong enough. Mix martial arts for eight years does that to a person, plus when you got boxing at your side, it’s hard for people to underestimate you, especially when muscle bulges from my biceps and my deltoids are so stiff and broad.

            I hope she’s doing fine, she’s going to college to be a kindergarten teacher. Oddly enough, the job fits her quite nicely. Compliments her personality fairly well.

            Two months without any contact and she calls me suddenly, I was just finishing with my work out and dripping sweat from my forehead and lower back. I call her back and she picks up at the third ring.

            “Mikasa, so nice to hear you again! How are you?” Her voice rings through the speaker and my heart feels like it’s going to explode.

            I even out my voice before I say anything back, “I just got done with my workout it’s been awhile, how are you?” Small talk, no emotion shows through my voice but I can feel a smile on my face.

            “I’m in town and I don’t have any homework right now and I was wondering if you wanted to go out and do something?” She sounded hopeful, and so was I.

            “Yeah, I’d like that…” She speaks of her excitement and gives me an address to a coffee shop and a time to meet up. Tomorrow at ten.

 

* * *

 

            We met up and ordered together, hers was some super sweet beverage and mine was a plain mug of black coffee with a croissant on the side. We chit chatted away talking about nothing and everything at the same time. It was nice, and those bright orbs grew brighter as time passed. She grew when I stayed the same. She told me about how you had to join a club at this college and she chose something new that she hasn’t tried yet. Archery. It fit her and yet it didn’t at the same time.

            “I love archery, like a lot!” she started, “but I can’t pull the string back all the way, do you have any tips on how to be able to pull the bow back all the way?” She had that sparkle of hope in her eyes, knuckles clenched lightly at her cup.

            “Well I don’t know much of archery since I don’t do it but I would think strengthening your arms would do wonders for you. Try lightly, like start with bar bells and then do some simple pushups. I know when I was watching this one show, _Green Arrow_ , that Oliver Queen, you know the main character, trained by continuously hitting water; not like crazily, but let the water settle down and then hit it again you can try that,” I suggested. Her brown hair shined in the light when she grabbed one of my hands in her excitement.

            Then she thanked me. I couldn’t do anything, feeling that warmth consume my hand was enough to get my heart beating faster and faster than it had since high school. All I could do was stare into her eyes as I fell deeper in the pit I created for myself.

            Love sure is a weird concept to get; one moment it’s the best thing to ever happen to you and then the next it’s like Hell rising once again to give you a personal visit. I don’t want to feel it, but I do and it’s terrifying.

            Honestly I never intended to fall in love with her, it just kind of happened, one minute we would talk about a really hot actor or actress and then the next it’s like my heart got out of my body just to join the Olympics. I should stop thinking these thoughts and just get over her, it’s for the better after all.

            I close my eyes and pull the covers over me, bed time Mikasa, no more thinking, get to sleep. It takes a while for me to succumb to the numb feelings of sleepiness, but I do and that’s all I could thank.

 

* * *

 

            When I wake up the next morning I do my daily rituals; eat a nutritious breakfast, go out for a jog, come back, take a shower, and then head to the gym for my job. I have three clients today one at 9 o’clock, the next at 1 and then the last at five o’clock, and then I’m back home. It’s a long schedule but I manage just fine. I get enough hours of rest and my breaks vary from day to day but that’s perfectly alright.

            My first client of the day is a non-binary person named Zoe Hange. They’re a loud individual with a knack for forensic science. One of their friends forced them to hire me so they can stay fit and healthy. It worked out well enough, I enjoy their company and sometimes we even hang out without my profession in the way.

            Today was a rare day in my opinion, after Zoe left early (there was an emergency at the labs) my Five O’clock appointment called in to tell me that they can’t make it. Now I wouldn’t be so suspicious of that, but it’s peculiar since that person was my “beloved” cousin, Levi.

            The only time he has available is the evening so he usually hires me or requests my presence if he feels like a work out is needed. Which is usually around three days a week.

            What’s even weirder was that Levi asked (more like commanded) me to go to Mom and Dad’s house at Seven, and dress up a little. Even though I don’t have to I do it anyway; I go home and take a shower, clean a little, make dinner for myself, and then dress in a nice dress with flats, and of course my red scarf. I sigh as I brush through my dark hair, detangling the strands that just wouldn’t go away. “Stupid hair, and stupid thickness, and stupid humidity…”

            Before long I make my way to my parents’ house. I guess I don’t have to but Levi himself had requested I go, and he doesn’t ask for much and so I feel obligated to do as he says.

            When I reach my child hood home, I stop. Everything looks exactly the same, the picket fence that probably needs to be repainted, the light blue color of the exterior and then with a dark roof, the small porch, the dog house right by the tree that has a beat up tire swing on it. They hadn’t change a thing. Nostalgia rises in the air and I swallow down spit to help my parched throat. This would be my first time knocking on this door. I raised my knuckles and lightly tapped on the door to wait for someone to answer. They answer right away and quickly pulled me inside.

            I do say hi, I do hug mother, and kiss father on the cheek, and I chuck my flats in the hallway closet. I kneel down to scratch Krusty behind the ear. Krusty is an old Japanese Spitz with a now gray coat. He’s a good dog, but unfortunately He sheds like crazy and constantly needs to be brushed, otherwise his coat would end up tangled and knotted, and it would not look good. I kiss his furry head before my parents shush me to the living room.

            Lo and behold the lady of my dreams sitting on the couch watching the first movie we’ve ever watched together on the same exact couch from five years ago. She laughed at an ironic scene, I don’t think she noticed my presence because she doesn’t move an inch, aside from her head that is.

            I walk around and sit right next to her, taking some of the blanket with me. “Hey,” I greet her.

            She smiles gently at me, “Hi yourself.” She wets her bottom lip still looking at me.

            I look at the scene on the television, “What’s happening?”

            She has this adorable thinking face when she’s trying to figure out how to come up with something. “They’re in the middle of the final battle. Bruce went gone berserk after saying that _‘I’m always angry’_ and that’s how he can control the green part of himself. It’s almost over, like less than a half hour.” I love it when she lowers her voice when she said the little quote from Bruce, it’d endearing.

            “Ah okay, thanks.” We continue watching the movie, well her more than me that is. I keep sneaking glances of her from the corner of my eyes, not even noticing that a hand was inching towards mine.

            Skin touched skin and I shivered. I fully glanced her way when she started talking, “I know you like me.” What? For how long? I felt panic rise inside me creating bile in my throat, I think I’m going to be sick; but just like reading my mind she answered my question right away, “I’ve noticed during our Senior year, but I didn’t want to start anything because.” Now that I noticed, she looks really nervous. I cup her hand with mine. She took a shaky breath, “I’m not mad, and I’m not afraid of this. I don’t want what we have to end, I kind of want it to grow, and I want to not be miserable because I can’t have you. I really want to kiss you, and snuggle you, and do all those gross and icky couple stuff people do; but I don’t want to do them with anyone else.” She finally looked at me, insecure and sadness swirled in her brown eyes.

            I was touched, “Sasha…” And then I leaned forward. That night I learned that her lips were as sweet as she was. There’s no point dwelling on what if’s and what not’s what matters the most is if you take the risk or not, and sometimes you can’t even think of it, just jump head first into the abyss. That night, Sasha and I started something magnificent and full of magic. There’s a long road ahead, but if she’s here with me, I can do anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr: tomato-loving-lampscum.tumblr.com


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